As a counselling psychologist, the most frequent question I am asked during my parenting workshops or in my private practice is: “Am I doing a good job of parenting my child?” While I gently reassure the parent that they are doing their best, I am left bewildered about the origin of this question. Did my parents also ask the same question of others? Or is this a modern phenomenon?
My practice and reflection has shown me that this self-doubt seems to be more of a twenty-first century malady. There are so many voices clamoring for our attention – many of these masking commercial benefits to someone else – that we don’t know what to listen to. But one thing is sure many parents of this generation are tremendously confused as to what is best for our children.
Let us stop a moment and ask ourselves: ‘Why are we even having these moments of self-doubt?’ ‘Why are we so afraid of making a mistake?’ ‘Why do we want to be perfect parents?’ In the midst of all these questions that swirl through our head all day, let us sift to the very core of the issue. At the heart of these questions lie one simple sentiment – the deep love we have for our children. I firmly believe that every parent who comes to ask me whether they are doing a right job of parenting (this is not to exclude those who don’t ask me this question), do so because they care for their children.
And it is this love which sometimes is at the root of the problem. How you ask?
Well, because all those other voices tell us what we ought to do to be good parents, and they sound convincing. And because we love our kids and want the best for them, we carefully listen to every voice. But unfortunately sometimes these voices seem to contradict each other and we are left confused. In this series of articles that I will be writing, I intend sharing with you the ABCD of Powerful Parenting – some simple things that you and I can do every single day to help our children blossom into the powerful individuals that they are meant to be. This series is about empowering you with simple suggestions that you can use to become a powerful parent of a powerful child. Every week, I will be writing about a different letter of the alphabet and I would be glad to answer your queries in full confidentiality.
I am looking forward to interacting with your journey to become a powerful parent.